Had he been around today, Noel Coward might have had a new version of his song, Don’t Put Your Daughter on the Stage, Mrs Worthington.
It has been a near-catastrophic last few days in my house, what with the threat of the TV being removed after I dared to smile when Scotland beat Serbia to qualify for the European football championship next year.
Are we heading for a happy ending to the Covid-19 story?
Dear Mr President, as you will now forever be known. You have played a blinder in your role as the leader of the free world, with your finger on the pulse – not to say the red button – of global affairs.
Remember the Aberdeen nine? It’s just become 10.
I can see the posters: “Not coming to a town near you anytime soon: first minister super-glued to Covid lectern".
If you're a working man or woman, resident in Aberdeen and reading this, contain yourself for a couple of minutes when I inform you that employees in the Granite City are awash with dosh.
Nicola Sturgeon has been praising the press this week, presumably through gritted teeth.
First, the stark, eye-popping fact: almost 100,000 people in Scotland could lose their jobs by the end of the year as the Covid crisis bites more deeply.
Dear First Minister. I feel your pain. Those stiletto heels.
SUE Barker has confessed she had to be crow-barred out of the presenter’s seat of A Question of Sport and admitted she would not have gone voluntarily.
It has been a peacekeeping week, though not on the scale that would have taxed Kofi Annan.
Very few things in politics are sacred although the right to vote should be one of them.
We must assume Nicola Sturgeon has forgotten to check Experian before setting course towards another independence referendum.
Donald Trump Jr, eyes superglued to the autocue, cracked a joke at the Republican Party convention along the lines that his dad’s opponent in November’s US presidential election – Joe Biden – is like the Loch Ness Monster; he pops his head up every now and again to run for president.
What faces Aberdeen and the north-east post-Covid-19?
When Nicola Sturgeon dished out yellow cards like some kind of political referee, she should have practised on her Education Secretary John Swinney.
Should we have been surprised at the cluster of cases of Covid-19 at an Aberdeen bar?
Having read the letter from Kenny Innes in the August 4 edition (‘Masks no problem), I can’t help but notice, whilst complaining of Frank Gilfeather’s alleged non-stop criticism of Nicola Sturgeon and the SNP, he fails to equally criticise Scott Begbie’s constant non-stop praise for the aforementioned person and her party.
Protective ones may have been on as Boris Johnson held a crab in each hand for a photo opportunity in Orkney, but the gloves are well and truly off in his campaign to keep Scotland in the UK.
Qualified though I am, there will be no application from me to participate in a new BBC TV show which needs bad singers.
In my TV days I once called Jack Charlton with an invitation to be the subject of a lengthy interview on his career as a Leeds United and England defender.
We must assume Kleon Papadimitriou has the backside of a rhino – not in size, of course – but in toughness.
I have never fully appreciated the need for pubs, probably because my visits to them have been infrequent; rare, some might say.
May I take this opportunity to congratulate your columnist Frank Gilfeather for his forthright column regarding the pedestrianisation of our granite mile Union Street.
It was JD Salinger, in The Catcher In The Rye, who wrote: “Certain things, they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone.”
I have to take issue with Frank Gilfeather’s column in Thursday’s EE.
Has the coronavirus lockdown muddled the minds of local politicians?
Former England striker Peter Crouch’s assessment of professional footballers won’t go down well in the changing rooms of clubs up and down the country.