Regular emails arrive in my inbox from major airlines featuring links to eye-catching photographs and videos designed to entice me to head off to some exotic destination or other.
Strangely, there is no indication of what kind of regimentation I could face from hotel security guards, patrolling corridors to prevent escape during the quarantine period after my return home.
It is bad enough being spoken to like a naughty child by a young woman, herself not too much older than a naughty child, about hand sanitisation at a cafe I visited with a friend the other day, but being imprisoned for 10 days is too much.
“Do I have to sanitise my hands?” I asked.
“Vee vill ask ze questions,” she replied.
OK, I made up that last bit, but you get the idea. Still, we could always walk away. We did.
As the song says: “It ain’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it.”
Confusing Covid rules
So, the dreaded virus has changed much in our lives, apart from being bullied by those devoid of people skills.
There’s the food we eat, like the fries with chicken, cheese and hot (as in heated) chilli (as in spicy) sauce I almost had in Aberdeen.
The dreaded virus has changed much in our lives, apart from being bullied by those devoid of people skills
“It’s cold,” I told the waiter, who did have people skills.
“That’s because the Covid rules don’t allow us to heat the hot chilli sauce to pour over the fries,” he explained, “We have to put it on to them cold.”
Confused? Join the club.
Getting ready for Costa del Wick
Missing out on travelling abroad this year will rob me of experiencing a little time in Aberdeen International Airport’s Northern Lights Lounge (award-winning, apparently) where, like other similar establishments, you are permitted to remove your mask once seated.
Dare to stand and take one step forward when you’re mask-less, however, and you risk being picked off by a sniper behind the bar.
The joy of the Northern Lights Lounge, a video tells us, is that you can see the runway, though I suspect that won’t be considered a major attraction, despite how fetching a Loganair Saab 340 looks.
And, before you ask, it’s an plane, just in case you thought they drove you to your staycation resort.
The lounge is also “the perfect place to enjoy your personal space”, underlined by the solitary “passenger” in the place. The film’s budget clearly didn’t run to additional extras.
Despite Aberdeen International Airport’s website boasts, I have decided to follow the advice of our political leaders and holiday on UK soil.
How is Wick at this time of year?
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This article originally appeared on the Evening Express website. For more information, read about our new combined website.