In the immortal words of Father Ted – “careful now”.
The easing of lockdown restrictions, especially more shops opening, are welcome but are also a huge test for all of us.
Now is the time we need to prove we can be responsible, sensible and cautious. Oh, and patient.
I must admit that patience is not one of my virtues. I get antsy over having to queue for anything.
Imagine my delight, then, when a couple of trips to pick up essentials at the weekend saw me having to line up not once but twice.
The first time was at a small convenience store and petrol station that happens to have an excellent selection of beers.
I nearly kicked it into touch, given there were half a dozen folk ahead of me, but the siren lure of good ale proved too strong. In the end, it took almost no time at all to get through the door, face mask in place, and straight to the fridges.
Quite a few other folk had the same idea, so there was a bit of fan-dancing around trying to pick up the cans you wanted, while not getting too close to anyone else.
And there was the need to fight down the urge to tut when someone was spending far too long deciding if they wanted an IPA or DIPA. Just pick it up and move on.
Then I realised I was doing the same, so hey ho.
What was impressive was the way this wee shop was organised. The one-in, one-out system was all smiles and thank yous. The store itself was clearly marked in a one-way system with two-metre distance marks.
All good, friendly and quick and everyone positioned nicely.
The next place I went was abandoned in short order. Not because of the queue, but because once you got inside, it was a free-for-all.
No traffic system, no distancing marks, just wander where you like and folk were. Most without a face mask. To say I felt uncomfortable was an understatement so I abandoned any attempts to continue and got out of there.
Which brings me to my point about it being a test for all of us. Sure, in my opinion the store should have been more on the ball with guidance for customers.
But, at the end of the day, it’s not up to someone else to exercise common sense for us.
A lack of markings doesn’t mean a lack of risk, so people should have been policing themselves.
The coronavirus doesn’t care if you’re glaikit about being in a shop, so don’t be. Ditto when beer gardens get into swing, then pubs, restaurants and shopping malls.
We’ve been through a tough lockdown. It’s up to us to make sure it doesn’t come back. Careful now.
Facing the future with a tartan mask
This season, I will mostly be wearing a face mask – which is a bit of a quandary for a non-follower of fashion like me.
Everywhere I look, folk are donning more and more elaborate coverings.
I’ve seen tiger stripes, floral patterns and even camouflage (just to make it even harder for folk to recognise you.)
Initially, I’d been pulling a Buff up over my face in shops, but they get a bit hot and make you look like a Wild West train robber.
I briefly had a proper medical one but I looked like an evil dentist. Or maybe that’s me just thinking all dentists are evil.
At the moment, I am sporting a simple black fabric affair bought in my local Nickel and Dime. But then I saw the picture of Nicola Sturgeon in a tartan face mask.
Natty, I thought. Even better, I discovered it was being sold by Slanj Kilts to help the homeless.
Cool, said I. Then some Twitter troll breenjed in to say the FM looked pathetic. I’m buying one, I decided.
Except they proved so popular there’s a delay in getting them. But that’s okay, it will be worth the wait.
Now football has taken over twitter
I have figured out why Boris Johnson was so desperate to get English football going.
It means there is now nothing trending on Twitter except chatter about results, teams and players.
I far preferred it when it was dealing with important things, like why Stay Home rules are only for the herd and how to test your eyesight by driving to Barnard Castle.
Aye, classicist Boris has clearly taken to heart the maxim of “bread and circuses”.