Donald Trump Jr, eyes superglued to the autocue, cracked a joke at the Republican Party convention along the lines that his dad’s opponent in November’s US presidential election – Joe Biden – is like the Loch Ness Monster; he pops his head up every now and again to run for president.
Nessie would not be amused, especially at the prospect that Junior might himself run for the top job in order to keep it in the family, though it would do wonders for America’s hair products industry.
But the quip from the Baron of Balmedie, where it will cost you up to £250 should a round of golf on his father’s “finest course in the world” appeal to you, brought to mind other comparisons.
Where to start; well, the Donald himself has often been seen as the reincarnation of Narcissus, fixated, as the mythological hunter was, on himself, his physical appearance and how he is perceived by the public.
Then there is Bigfoot, the legendary movie monster who attacks people then returns to his cave (office) for a nap. How many Bigfoots are there in politics? We need look only to John Swinney and Gavin Williamson, the education secretaries on either side of the border, who put their big feet in the school exams fiasco, failed to convince anyone they were right, changed their minds and retreated to their caves.
Meanwhile, Boris Johnson could be seen as the proverbial bull in a china shop with his penchant for eyebrow-raising statements which he frequently has to revisit – usually the following day – in order to correct himself. Then there is Lord Tony Hall, the god of the BBC, caught in the headlights over the singing of Rule Britannia and Land of Hope and Glory at this year’s Last Night of the Proms.
The Director General tells us they will be played but not sung, although normal service will be resumed for next year’s event.
By which time, of course, he’ll have vacated his chair in Broadcasting House, leaving the issue to his successor, Tim Davie.
Where’s incentive for Mackay to quit?
Derek Mackay – remember him? – is at the centre of a bid by the Conservatives to boot him out of the Scottish Parliament.
The former finance secretary, you may recall, quit that post in February after the disclosure that he sent hundreds of social media messages to a 16-year-old boy, since then he hasn’t been seen anywhere near Holyrood. Yet, he still draws his £64,470 MSP’s salary.
So, why wouldn’t all parties back the Scottish Tories’ efforts to have MSPs who fail to attend parliament for six months sacked?
Mr Mackay refuses to resign. Well, where’s the incentive?
He’ll pocket a further £50,000 when he’s told “there’s your coat, cheerio” at the end of this parliament, still seven months and £37,607.50 away.
Can you imagine what your boss would say were you to refuse to do your job?
You wouldn’t last six minutes, never mind six months.
Who said there are politicians out for self-gain?
Hat’s off to workers wearing face masks
I doff my cap to those many shop workers – okay, retail executives, as some like to be called – and others who have to spend an entire shift wearing an anti-virus mask.
I’m afraid my resignation letter would have been submitted months ago were I required to spend my day with my mouth and nose under cover and feeling all hot and bothered.
As for the call to extend the Eat Out to Help Out cut-price meal deals in Aberdeen, I’d rather just Stay In and Keep Thin, thank you.