You’ll know by now that when Madrid and Barcelona face-off in the match known universally as El Clásico you’re rock-solid guaranteed to get the best quality and spectacle anywhere in football.
When I moved to Spain it was with the certainty that not only was the football better there but the working relations between a decent journalist and the main characters in the industry were also better.
Pound for pound, Gareth Bale is already close to being, or in fact may already be, Britain’s most successfully exported footballer.
It’s about Neymar this week. Of course it is.
The European Under-21 Championships in Poland are turning into quite the wee post-season boost for Real Madrid.
Now I'll admit it, every eight or nine years I might get something wrong. But in this instance I'm convinced it's a horrible, half-brained idea for Cristiano Ronaldo to re-sign for Manchester United.
I take it as a Holy Communion between you and me that you, like me, are already missing competitive football like a Sahara straggler misses a cold lager.
I know this may already have been covered in the "Hatch, Match and Dispatch" pages of the Evening Express ...
It's that time of year again. Little less travelling, no matches but a tsunami of questions about the transfer market - some of which I can answer, some of which I can't.