Evening Express Columnists

MY THOUGHTS and prayers are with the people of Haiti this week. What a tragedy.

I FINALLY made it to the “City of Angels” this week after enduring the most hellish travel experience en route to the airport.

HAPPY New Year to everyone – 2010 is here, Christmas has come and gone and already we yearn for its return.

WHERE does the time go? It doesn’t seem that long ago I was up to my ears in Easter eggs and now Christmas is here.

THE race to be No.1 is hotting up – and I’m not talking about Joe McElderry from the X Factor.

IT PAINS me to report that my tour with Joe Bonamassa has sadly finished. Alas.

THOUGHT I’d take a break from regaling you with unexpected tales from the rock ‘n’ roll road this week and catch up with what’s been happening on the world stage.

I KICKED off yet another UK tour last Saturday night in Llandudno, Wales, with famed American blues guitarist Joe Bonamassa.

I’M STILL on tour this week with The New Beautiful South, or simply The South as they now call themselves.

ME AND my boys are back on the road again this month.

BONFIRE Night got me thinking and my penny’s worth of thought hovers aptly over the memory of a certain Guy.

I WANT to give a big shout out this week to the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle.

I’M ON a plane to Sweden as I ponder this week’s subject matter.

I RETURNED to my old stomping ground of Liverpool last weekend for a quick family visit.

I WAS privileged to be asked to play at the inaugural Scottish Royal Variety Show, hosted by Tam Cowan and Jenni Falconer.

AS MOST of you all know by now, The X Factor auditions are over and the final 12 contestants have been chosen for the final round.

I’M LIVING it up in Brighton these days, and this week my new home played host to the Labour Party Conference.

THE country is bust, so they say, and the Government needs to save money by trimming the fat from the public sector.

I HARDLY watch any new American TV shows these days.

I PLAYED a couple of top gigs last week, the first of which was in Doncaster.

THE Scottish FA really know how to kick a man when he is down.

ANYTHING that can go wrong will go wrong!

IT WAS a long drive back from Cornwall and when I finally arrived all I really wanted was a hot meal and a nice long drink.

IF SCOTTISH football were a boxer, the referee would have stopped the fight long ago.

I’M ON the west coast of England this week, in creative seclusion in an area of outstanding natural beauty in Cornwall.

LIFE for me continues its march across the sands of time this week.

IT’S 4am and I’m in Stuttgart Airport.

LAST weekend I spent a wonderful evening in North London with my best mate, watching my favourite movie of all time, Lord Of The Rings, accompanied by an array of fruity cocktails.

FEW events in our recent history are of such significance and magnitude to cause one to remember exactly where they were when it happened.

CAN someone please tell me why we are fighting a war in Afghanistan?

AT HOME in Brighton on a humid Sunday afternoon, I’m crashed out in the lounge.

AT THE age of 17 I attended the Liverpool Institute of Performing Arts, a school for talented youngsters seeking to pursue fame and fortune in the entertainment industry.

MAPLE syrup and Terrence and Philip.

BANG, what was that?

I RECEIVED an e-mail this week from a man called Elvis!

WHERE’S Oliver Cromwell when you need him to usurp the throne?

EXPENSESGATE continues! Anyone bored with it yet?

I FEAR the worst for Livingston if they are flogging off copies of a rare Susan Boyle CD to bring in funds.

SOUTH Africa’s World Cup preparations have suffered another embarrassing set-back.

CAN Scottish cricket sink any lower?

THE recession has hit sport so bad French pole vaulter Romain Mensil has turned to extreme measures to drum up cash.

I WAS lucky enough to be in Amsterdam reporting on Scotland’s World Cup qualifier with Holland.

AM I the only one troubled by the quality of Christmas TV this year?