Toil and trouble of sporting superstars

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AS FALLS from grace go, American football seems to have the market tied up.

OJ Simpson, and now right on his coat tails – Super Bowl hero Plaxico Burress.

The New York Giants wide receiver shot himself in the leg while partying in a Manhattan nightclub.

He was throwing some shapes on the dance-floor when ooops, a 40 caliber semi-automatic Glock slid out of his sweat-pants.

Bang, it went off and shot Plaxico in the thigh.

Ironically, the name of the club where he was partying – IQ.

Not much intelligence on show by bringing a semi-automatic to a club, I normally just take a mobile phone and a wallet.

Now that Plaxico thinks he is Dirty Harry, will the commentary at his next game be: “Did he score six points or only five?

“Well to tell you the truth, in all this here excitement I kinda lost track myself.”

Plaxico, who caught the winning touch-down at the 2007 Super Bowl, has put his Rolls-Royce Phantom up for auction to help pay his legal fees.

And unlike Buress, the car’s pistons only fire when they’re supposed to.

He was very lucky, renowned for outspoken outbursts, the gun went off at one of the few times his foot wasn’t in his mouth.

And what was he doing wearing sweatpants – that’s just one step away from a shell-suit.

Plaxico – you were partying in Manhattan, not Market Street.

Apparently he sauntered into the high class bar and asked for a shot.

In the aftermath of the shooting he handed himself in to police, he gave up almost as quickly as Roy Keane.

The Giants suspended the gun totin’ wide receiver for four games, there was no appeal as he did not have a leg to stand on.

Fans are up in arms, saying he should be sent packing – oh wait, he already is.

But that is just one in a long line of bizarre sporting injuries.

Fabian Espindola of Real Salt Lake recently scored against David Beckham’s LA Galaxy in the American MLS.

He was so overjoyed at the goal he did a backflip and broke a leg.

Hearts striker Christian Nade vowed to do backflip next time he scored.

So no chance of an injury there then.

American magician David Blaine recently admitted he was gutted to hear that his record for doing nothing inside a box for 48 days had been broken by Nade.

Manchester United keeper Alex Stepney once shouted so hard at team-mates during a match against Birmingham in 1975 he dislocated his jaw.

Maybe Celtic should do that with Artur Boruc, to stop him eating.

But his eating habits are not as bad as English rugby player Colin Smart.

After a Five Nations win over France in 1982 his team-mate Maurice Coldlough pretended to drink a bottle of aftershave.

Smart, not realising Coldlough had swapped it for water, downed his own bottle of Brut.

He was rushed to hospital.

Kevin Keegan and Henry Cooper just used to splash it all over.

Smart – an example of when someone does not live up to their name.