Sean Wallace is a sports writer with the Evening Express
Read his exclusive online column here every Friday
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“YOU’VE done it now, Robinho, I’m gonna get you!”
Is Brazilian star Robinho set to take up a role in a remake of seventies comedy On The Buses?
Mark Hughes could easily star as grumpy boss Blakey.
The £30 million Manchester City signing was recently spotted on a bus with his girlfriend.
No flash motors or security, he jumped on public transport to the amazement of the City fans.
Robinho’s refreshingly down to earth attitude is in contrast to nearly every other professional player, who could all get a part in comedy Gimme, Gimme, Gimme.
Maybe the Brazilian was just confused.
When City gaffer Hughes said he should take the No.10, he meant the shirt – not the double decker to Eastlands.
Robinho claims he got the bus because he was caught in a bad thunder and lighting storm
Disaster nearly struck when a lighting bolt hit the bus employee who was collecting the Brazilian’s ticket.
Thankfully he was okay, he was a bad conductor.
Buying players of Robinho’s class is a million miles from City’s plight in recent years, when they plummeted to the Second Division.
With no money and average players, it was more Only Fools and Horses.
With the obscene amount of money now being thrown at City, the new owners Abu Dhabi United Group could maybe remake the Beverly Hill Billies.
Too much money, and not enough class.
From a blank cheque to a reality check in a few months after the Blues were sent tumbling out of the League Cup by lowly Brighton.
Sunderland are still reeling after Roy Keane walked out on them, and who said it was lucky to cross a Black Cat.
With Keane gone, Sundereland will be remaking their own comedy classic, Ever Decreasing Circles, as they spiral into the Championship.
Rivals Manchester United are suffering from Birds of a Feather, as their training sessions at their Carrington training ground are being stalked by geese.
Flying in from a nearby nature reserve and dive bombing on to the pitch, they have obviously been watching Ronaldo train.
Meanwhile, Arsenal’s former skipper William Gallas is doing his best to earn a role in One Foot in the Grave.
The Victor Meldrew wannabe was stripped of the Gunners’ captaincy for his whining and one-sided views. Just where does he get it from, Arsene?
He is being run close by Newcastle boss Roy Kinnear, who rattles out more expletives than Gordon Ramsay cornered by tabloid hacks.
Not only is he grumpy like Meldrew, but with Kinnear in charge the Magpies have One Foot in the Grave, and are doomed for the drop.
Newcastle’s form got so bad they introduced their own brand of toilet paper – it was the only way they could get a clean sheet.
Up in Scotland, the SPL also has contenders for comedy re-runs.
With Davie Weir and Christian Dailly in the Rangers defence, they could be Dad’s Army.
Only three months into the season and you can hear ‘Don’t panic, don’t panic’ as Celtic race clear in the SPL race.
And St Mirren are the Steptoe and Son of the SPL, as they also operate from a dilapidated scrapheap.
Celtic’s European performance at Aalborg – well that was just a comedy in itself.